OK, well that's not entirely true, I do actually have money BUT... from now on that is my new mantra. I'm going to act as though I don't have any. As if every dollar in the bank is my last. Because if I don't start thinking that way, it won't take long to become a reality. What a funny old week it's been - and it's only Monday! But it's been a hugely important day for me and I have one person in particular to thank - an SS member called Brenda. Picture yours truly sitting at my computer bleary-eyed this morning (not a nice vision I know)! There I was getting my usual day forum fix and I spot a thread entitled 'I was wondering'. Brenda was just wondering out loud if 'Penny has lost the plot for what she's meant to be doing' lately. The answer is yes, my dear, Penny has well and truly lost the plot lately, I couldn't have put it better myself!
I felt the least that Brenda and other members deserved was an explanation as to why my blog seemed to have lost it's focus and direction these past few months. Why had Penny fallen off the wagon after all this time? I tried to gloss over things a couple of posts ago but it was only half the story. There were bigger things I was trying to deal with that left me unable to concentrate on anything at all, really. Like trying to keep my marriage together. Like reassuring my kids they weren't going to lose their home or either of their parents. Like trying to get through each day without fighting. I never thought this would happen to us - we were the strongest, happiest couple I ever knew! I think we still are, really, or at least can be again. I won't go into the details too much but what started out Yummy Mummy for her recent bravery in the Forum too. Her threads have been inspirational and given me a place to start as soon as I have finished this post. I must also thank the lovely Lauren for giving me the biggest belly laugh this morning right when I was at my lowest. Most of all though, I must thank my long-suffering hubby Noel for putting up with me. We have had more than our fair share of ups and downs lately but he is still a good man and the right one for me. I may not have been the adulterous floozy he has mistaken me for lately but living with the guilt of frittering away so much of the money he works hard for has felt almost as bad as if I were. So I am going to stick with this wonderful husband of mine who has already harvested more than 56kg of produce from his garden since January 1st and become steadfast SS'ers together, hooray! Right, time to start waging my own War on Debt!
